If you want more sex, do the dishes” researchers say.
The Times March 8, 2008

women find men more attractive if they pick up a
duster, say researchers
Researchers from the University of California looked at
a national survey of 3,563 children and their parents.

Of Dyson men

The time is right to talk of Dyson-men,
Upright, bag-free, cyclone-driven males:
Gatherers of fluff and clippings of nails.
They have heard it on the News at Ten
That helping with the housework gets you laid
Researchers from the USA have made
A claim that women respond better, when

Men take up their share of household tasks
It seems that women are keener to lust
After partners who are willing to dust
Before removing their G-strings and basques
They like a man with impregnated wipes
Who battles with dirt to earn his stripes
Before donning his handcuffs and masks

That sweet aroma of Pledge in the air
Will excite her more than Eau de Cologne
She won't be able to leave him alone
Yet the dusting man is not without care
He knows that macho mates may ridicule
Him with comments barbed and beastly cruel
As they slump on sofas with glassy stare

Watching the telly, in beer-stained attire
Amongst a foul nest of discarded snacks
Fast-food wrappers, remains of six-packs
Sneering that males with dusters are dire
Specimens lost to the cause of real men
Who can attract a woman as and when
Because real men set women afire

But what those paunchy chauvinists ignore
Is that whilst they brag of the sex they once had
And how in the past they drove women mad
Dyson-men do it now, down on the floor,
In every room, satisfaction guaranteed
No more humiliating need to plead
When they finish the chores they know they'll score

So remember you men who won't lift a finger
It’s unlikely that women will want to linger
With you and your slovenly, slothful charms
They’ll prefer the warmth of Dyson-man’s arms

As someone who does the housework, the only trouble is
that I am often too tired to respond to my wife’s
bedroom demands

written by David C Johnson © March 2008/revised February 2009